Gratuitous Color Shot #4: Horton in the house

Lately my time has been occupied with a mix of superficial + potentially life-course-altering tasks, tasks which are helping to distract me from simmering extended-family issues over which I have approximately zero control.

Of course by “distract” I mean “tip my stress management meter reading from ‘Handling’ to ‘Expressing Overload Via Bizarre Minor Health Situations That Generate Eyerolls.'”

I swear I’m putting a lot of effort into stepping back, but really: what’s the protocol when the proverbial elephant moseys into one’s living room and can’t get everyone’s full attention? Besides hope the the elephant is pink, and thus an accepted marker of drunken hallucination.

[Except when it’s an even more tangible sign of HEY, OVER HERE!]

Hallucinating BIG pink elephants or crossing paths with Seattle signage?


Though the rosy-colored variety gets a bad rap in Western culture, bog-standard elephants represent many wonderful things in their native lands: faithfulness, intelligence, strength, wisdom, endurance, memory, prosperity, sexual vigor….

All those enviable qualities certainly come in a large, hard-to-miss package, though. Maybe those of us who are waiting not-so-patiently for others to see the room is rather crowded need to take a deep breath—or twelve—and throw tons of effort into channeling the metaphorical guest.

Salad, anyone?

7 Responses

  1. Trample. Trample, trample.

  2. Ha—are Horton’s hoof imprints on my back? [And did it feel good to dust that one off?]

  3. “elephants represent many wonderful things in their native lands… sexual vigor”

    The mind reels.

  4. Why YES, things were getting too wholesome around here!

    Buff, Buff, Buff. I think it works better if you imagine yourself as an elephant, though I’m sure there’s some Dumbo-human fanfic online that will leave nothing to the imagination, ha. [If you find it, don’t tell us!]

  5. pink elephant – marker – drunken hallucination which brings me to my favourite way of dealing with relatives on special occasions such as christmas: I drink them pretty, preferably at my friend’s place at lunch so I can enjoy a funny relaxed family- reunion. Good this only happens once a year otherwise drinking people pretty would probably ruin my liver?

  6. Paula —

    Yes, can’t say the medical folks would recommend that as a frequent stress management technique! I am too much of a lightweight to adopt that behavior…it just gets me in trouble!

  7. Well that…and I hear peanuts work quite well.


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