…eight, nine, TEN

Ten years ago this weekend, I was attending the birthday party of Ms Madeline’s oldest and going on a blind date. [The events were NOT simultaneous.]

The Date in question turned out to be a man with whom I shared a lot of values, but not many personality traits. Apparently this state of affairs can be very intriguing early on in a relationship, but has been known to lead to some heavy-duty roadblocks down the line.


Despite our optimism-challenged personalities, my blind date and I decided to wing it and hope for the best. A decade on, we’ve had periods where we haven’t quite managed to achieve “good,” let alone “best.” However, and I like to think importantly, we seem to still admire each other’s VERY unfamiliar qualities—at least when they aren’t driving us mad*—in great enough quantities to make re-upping for another 5200 weeks sound appealing.

Based on years of I’m-sure-amazingly-astute observations plus my precocious, non-age-appropriate reading of Updike, Vonnegut, and Ms Judith Krantz, I’m confident there are all sorts of subterranean reasons Mr Vix and I initially fell in love, and all kinds of subterranean reasons we’ve managed to stay together.**

But on days like today I like to think it all comes down to what Paula Abdul and “MC Skat Kat” sing/rap:

When things go wrong we make corrections

To keep things moving in the right direction

Try to fight it but I’m telling you Jack

It’s useless: opposites attract”

Naturally as a romantic cynic I can’t help but think I’ve now jinxed things and we’ll be lucky to hit 10 more minutes, but hey: given that I am horoscopically inclined to be fickle, it’s shocking that I’ve made it to THIS milestone. Anything else is just gravy.

* and ** Conveniently for those interested in why we may have strong positive or negative reactions to people we know and possibly love, La Belette Rouge has primers on positive and shadow projections.

13 Responses

  1. As le monsieur and I say to each other every March 15, “Happy Adversary!” 😉

  2. A happy 10 to you! It’s all cake from here.

    I didn’t mention what flavor.

    Just remember good ole’ Dr. Seuss…”The question is often complicated, but the answer is easy.”

    Love. Lot’s.

  3. From one pair of opposites (18 years now) to another!

  4. Pseu —

    Ha! “Give me the right to prove my opinion is superior or give me death”?

    Allegedly it’s not the conflict, it’s the way the conflict is handled. Not sure we did it right last night when we were sparring about whether Ohio is considered part of the South.

    [FTR, I defer to Ohioans on that…and many seem to feel SE Ohio is part of the South!]

    Linda —

    Funny woman. I love Dr Seuss, but when he goes all cryptic I get muddled. I’ll work on it, promise!

    Buff —

    Yes, you and your beau have a lot of “oppositity” but you give me hope now that Al + Tipper Gore are finito. So obvious that after all the years, he is still smitten with you and vice versa!

  5. Congrats on 10 years! I’m quite sure nothing is jinxed and you’ll be notching up 11-12-13 of harmonious friction before you know it.

  6. Struggler — Thanks for the well-wishing!

  7. 10 years in 2010? I am hopping in a square, since Mr+Ms Paula are reaching the 10 by middle of August. 10 10 10 10 Before “us”, the longest period was about 3 months. Of course we knew longer relationships, too : the on-and-off-drama-rama. This was before we met. After the 3rd month, every day was a new record.
    Now, reaching 10 years it feels surreal, yet almost impossible. But it is true! Congratulations! Yes, it does feel good.

  8. Paula —

    Ok, this synchronicity is getting scary…I could have written the above! [Mr Vix was king of the long-term relationships, though.]

    Surreal is the perfect word, absolutely. Congratulations in advance for your upcoming TEN!

  9. PS: I forgot to say: you are funny and unusual. I like either!

  10. Congrats on 10 years!!! And thank you sooooooooo much for the link love. You are the best( and that is not a projection).

  11. LBR —

    Many thanks for the congrats, the non-projection luv, and for the essays (even if they terrify me more than ever, ha!).

  12. Your blog is great, Vix! I will subscribe by email and expect some eye-opening posts.

    I decided to leave a comment after this particular post because I so enjoyed hearing delightful snippets about your relationship during our meet-up on Sunday. You could actually be successful at stand-up comedy/commentary, and I’m glad you siphon all “that” and more into this blog.

    I missed that particular post by Belette so will – with trepidation about what it might tell me about my husband and me – check it out later. 🙂

  13. Lydia —

    It was such fun to meet on Sunday! Thanks so much for stopping by this joint; you are too kind with your review, but as an acquired taste I am glad you are game for sticking around.

    [And please pardon my delay in hopping over to you…things got boringly busy all of a sudden.]

    Speaking of which: when you have some time, YES you do have to read Belette’s post and see What Lurks Beneath, ha.

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